Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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