Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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