He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize