I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
