really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
