I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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