I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Life without a bra equals bliss.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
