I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
