Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
