i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
