Rock
Scissors
Fuck
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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