whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
