we made out on top of his cat.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
