We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
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