I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
