I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
