Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
