it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
