Dual....:-)
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
