I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
