AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
