i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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