belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
being pregnant is like rehab
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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