I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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