I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
