pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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