i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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