Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Randomize
