butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
