It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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