We're facebook friends in real life
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I would fuck him just for his dog
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
