i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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