I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
