So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
