So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
