So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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