maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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