I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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