I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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