There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
