we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
