i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
