he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
