I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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