It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
We are all done wearing pants today
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
