direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
