I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
