OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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