I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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