My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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